At home with 2 crazy dogs

I am at home for the second day. I have not been feeling well, and no mom it's not my UC acting up. I was sick yesterday morning when I took Buddy out in to do his business, and then all day, and last night I thought I was feeling better, but this morning in the shower I got sick again. OH joy of joys, I really love my body. 

Every time I get sick I always sit at home and worry that this time will be the time I lose my job. Don't get me wrong. I work with and for some really really awesome people, but let's get serious here. Since I got UC 4 years ago my attendance hasn't been stellar. I hate it because I can't really control it, and yet I feel like I should. I have been noted on my review every year about my attendance, and I try to do better, but it's so hard to sit at a desk all day when all you want to do is puke your guts out. (sorry a little gross I know), or you are sitting on the toliet for what seems like 3 hours at a time. I have tried to tell my boss that I only take the days when I am at my worst, and he seems to accept this, but some times I don't think he believes me.  And I don't really know what to do about it. 

It really sucks to have a sick body. And I know I totally take my body for granted when I am feeling good. I don't really realize that I am feeling good until I start to feel sick again. I guess I am grateful, that I have learned to live illness, more then I ever thought I would. And I am glad my UC isn't as bad as it could be. Oh I have books and websites and all that crazy stuff that I have read about how much worse things could be. But I still hate it. I still hate having to watch everything I do, and everything I eat. Sometimes I know there are people I shouldn't be around, or things I shouldn't eat, and I do it anyway knowing the consquences. I have to. I have to make sure I know I am still able to be normal. 

The only thing that has kept me going the last two days is Buddy and Gabe. At this moment they are playing their favorite game. Catch me if you can. I am not sure there is any point to this game for them. I think it is just an excuse for the two of them to run around like crazy men. But it is the funniest thing in the world. And watch them wear each other out, and then having them come and snuggle with me on the couch when they are done, is the only joy of my day the last couple of days. Oh they finally tired and want to snuggle again. I'll write more later.