How nice can you be to me today????

If I had to give away a million dollars, what would I do? Where would you fall on my list of who to give to? How much do I really like you?

I would give all to Buddy. So that way it's still really mine. Ha ha ha.

Honestly, first I would give some money to my grandparents $250,000 or so. My G&G S want to move back to Wisconsin. So I guess I would give them some money to purchase a house where ever they wanted. I hope it will be closer to my mom & George, but if not I guess I could live with it. As long as G&G were happy.

Then I would give some to my sister's kids $100,000/ kid. As a college fund of course. I want them to be able to go to school for whatever they want, and if they don't want to go to school, then that would be ok too. But there would be some rules on that one. Like they couldn't spend all the money at once. Moe would end up with millions of stuffies, Megz would end up with who knows what, and Noah would probably give all his to his sisters.

I would give some to best friend Carey's kids too. Probably not as much as the sister's kids, but they would get some maybe $50,000

I guess I would have to give the sister some too. You know for putting up with me for all these years. I guess I could give her about $100,000.

I would give some to CCFA. This is the organization that researches the disease I have. Maybe about $100,000.

That leaves $250,000 that would go to my mom and dad. They have given me so much over the years. I can't leave them out. And the only reason they are at the bottom instead of the top is because I want to leave them all that was left. They have taken pretty good care of me over the years so I guess I owe them Right. Just kidding. I love them both dearly, and would love to do all I can for them.

So what would you do $1,000,000, if you had to give it away

If I Go The Dog Goes Too....

When I become famous for all my dashing and wonderful talents. I am not really sure what they are, but I know I have them. They are just waiting to be discovered, this is what I will demand for my appearances.

The Dog Goes Too....
My entourage should get the same treatment as I. If you want me to show up to your party, your opening, or whatever fabulous event you are having that would be made that more fabulous by my presence, and lets face it my presence makes every event better. Then you have to take my alcoholic, chain smoking, potty mouth dog Buddy. He is my protector, and my humor relief. Every day when I come home from work. He cracks a Bud, and lights up a red, and we sit down, and chat about the shit that is going on in my life. And then he sits and cheers for me as I play Guitar Hero. He is my little groupie. And everyone needs one of those.

Make sure you have sixer and a pack of Marlboro reds for Buddy
This should be explained by the above. If you have ever meet Buddy you will know that he takes his drinking very seriously and if you don't have any Bud on hand, or try to take it away from him he can get pretty mean. Ask my sister C. She can vouch for this. She tried to take his wine away from him at Christmas and he wasn't to happy.

Be prepared to shower me with...
Compliments, and shoes, oh and handbags. Of course every girl likes to be told she is pretty, and wonderful, and witty, and of course skinny. But if you really want to make happy give me shoes, and handbags. The higher the heel the better. If I could shop for shoes, and handbags all the time with any amount of money I would be completely happy.

Buddy and I don't think any of these demands are too outrageous. And we know you will have a fabulous time hanging out with us. So please remember the diva (Buddy that is) is way harder to handle then me.

A Typical Day

Here is what a day in my life is like.

I wake up to this

"Come on Mom get up. Get up, it's time to play. Come on."

I don't mean like oh isn't he cute. I mean he is right in my face. The first thing I see every morning when I wake up is a black nose. Then as soon as he sees my eyes open starts nudging me. And the nose is always wet and cold.

Me... "Buddy it's 4:30 go back to sleep. Come on lay down here with me a little longer. "

I lift the covers and after a couple of seconds of persuasion, he will finally lay back down, until 6:00. Then we go up to go potty. And of course he is a total morning person. He wakes up just as happy and playful as can be. He goes in the backyard and wants to run and run and run. I want him to hurry up, get the job done, so I can go and lay back down until 7:30.

I finally track him down, and we go and lay back down. Or I should say, I lay back down, and he plays with any number of his toys that he has snuck into the bedroom and hidden in different places. See everytime I find a toy I throw it back into the living room, so he has taken to hiding them under the desk, and under the bed. He was digging under the bedskirt a couple of days ago and I didn't understand why until I looked and saw, a ball, Mr Moo, and a piece of raw hide under there.

My alarm starts going off at 7. I snooze it until 7:30.
Buddy " Come on now lets play. Please mom. Please. Here is a ball. Just throw it. I promise I will be good. Please oh please oh please."
Me "No I have to get in the shower."
Buddy "Just throw it once. Just once"
Me "Ok"

I throw the ball, hurry to get in the shower because I know he will be back and talk me into playing more. And sure enough here he comes. He nudges the shower door open with his nose and looks at me like "Hey I thought we were going to play."

I get ready and as I am getting ready I get any number of toys dropped at my feet. So I throw them, as they come to me. I get done getting ready. Go in my room to put my shoes on, and there is Buddy laying on the bed. I stand up to leave. And he rolls over on his back, with his legs in the air.
Me "It's that time Buddy"
Buddy "Please don't put me in the kennel. I can't be good. I know I can't, but aren't I just so cute. How can you do this to me. Please don't"
I rub his belly for a little bit. Pick him up, and walk to the kennel. By this point he is looking back over my shoulder saying "if I don't look at it maybe it doesn't exist and I won't have to go in there. "
We get to the kennel I put him in and say"Ok have a good day. I will see you after work." He always looks so sad at me as I close the door to the room.

I go to work. Come home, and oh my goodness. You would think I had been gone for a month. He is jumping up and down in the kennel. And barking. I open the kennel door and he is off like a shot. No kidding. He is up the stair and in the kitchen before I even get back out of the room where his kennel is kept. Then he runs back down the stairs.
"Come on mom I have to go potty. Come on"
Me : "Ok Buddy I only have to legs you have four. I am getting there."
He runs back up the stairs.
I start towards the stairs.
He comes down to check one more time.
I finally make it up the stairs. He runs back towards me.
Runs toward the couch.
Jumps on the couch, and up the back, so he can be at my level. I walk over and get kissed for the one side of my face to the other.
We finally make it to the back door, and he runs outside, and starts looking for his girlfriends. (He has one on either side of the fence)
And I am forgotten.

Diet, Diet, Diet....

I am dieting. Yes isn't everyone these days? I have to say seeing Adrienne in November really made me want to be skinny again. Not as super sickly skinny as I was, but you know skinny enough I could wear cute dresses, and maybe even a swim suit.

So I started a little weight loss group. My sis, and the lady I work with. We started off good. Every Sunday we weigh ourselves, and check in on Mondays just to be accountable, and encourage each other. We are in our 8th or 9th week. Can't remember for sure, and I was doing really good. I had lost 10 pounds. I was really excited. I am not totally cutting myself off from my favorite foods. I don't think anyone wins doing it that way. It just makes you want to binge and purge more.

But I lost my momentum. I am not exactly sure, how or why. I think I started to think oh I don't have to try so hard. I am losing weight... yada yada yada. You know. So I have to get back on track. No more cheesecake. No more Oreo Cookie Tortes. Of course I will still bake them. But I just can't eat them.

Here is too hoping I can lose the 15 to 20 pounds I still want to lose.

Just Call me...

I love to bake. I really don't know when or how this love of baking came from. But it is there. This week I have baked 2 cheesecakes, and one Oreo Cookie Torte. I made the cheesecakes for church. They are trying to raise funds for a little girl who is deathly allergic to peanuts (I could not imagine being allergic to peanuts. My favorite thing in the whole world is PB and chocolate life without this would be unbearable) so she can get a Peanut sniffing dog. How cool would that. OK Buddy go find me the Peanuts. Oh wait Buddy could never do that. He doesn't have enough of an attention span. Unless there are girls or beer involved. Then you can't get him to think about anything else.

I made the Oreo Cookie Torte for the boys at work. Oh man is it good. The guys love when I bake. I am always bringing in new stuff. And it never tastes bad.

The guys at work are still surprised at how well I can bake. (And I cook like a super star too, if I am allowed to say) I don't know if it is because I am single, so they don't think I should be able to or what. But they always say Wow this is so good. Did you really make this. Yup. I did. And I make almost EVERYTHING I bake from scratch. I don't use box mixes for much. There is just something satisfying from taking a bunch of things that taste nasty by themselves, and making them into something that is so beautiful and delicious.

Sorry you can't taste my desserts, today, but I will surely not be thinking of any of you as I taste them.

What's in a name?

I have 3 nicknames. That is more then other people I know. And all of them started when I was younger and still stick to this day.

To my mom I am Bear. Every email I get from her starts out with Bear in the title line. Hey Bear how is it going? Bear... I am not sure how she exactly started this, it could have come about from Tear Bear (as my first name is Tara), but I am not for sure I just know she has called me Bear for as long as I can remember.

To my dad I am Hank. Yes Hank. This comes for the fact that I am not the most cheery person you will meet. I tend to be a little cranky at times. He came up with this name for his younger sister, and he started to call me this name as I got into my teens. In all fairness. I call him Margret. (We have weird relationship). We were taking a family vacation forever ago and it was at the time there was Toyota commerical with 3 old ladies getting on the interstate, and one of them says "Punch it Margret" As we were driving on our vacation, I said this to my dad at one time to get him to drive faster, and the name has just stuck.

To my nieces, & nephew, (and most other childern I know) I am Tah Tah. This name is the oldest name for me. I was Tah Tah since I was a baby. Everyone thinks it is because my older sister couldn't pronounce my name Tara as a child, but in truth it is because I was a collicky baby, and to calm me down, my mom would said Tatatata. and out of that somehow came Tah Tah. So when my first niece was born I as Aunt Tah Tah. Most kids only know me by this name. If you ask my cousin who is 7 if he wants to go see Tara he will always ask "Who?" and then if you say Tah Tah. He says "Oh yes.". My sister has even taken to calling me this. I don't think she ever uses my real name anymore. Which is totally ok with me.

I am sure other people have some not so nice names for me. But those are the actual nicknames I have that are used on a regular basis. For better or worse I am stuck with them. They remind that people love me every time I hear them.

Let the Madness Begin!!

Today marks my Official Start to March Madness.

I am a big sports fan. I love to watch football, and basketball. I love to go to baseball games, and hockey games. I even enjoyed going to the college volleyball game with Meg. I used to play sports, but I wasn't a star. I just played because I liked sports.

I look forward to Pro Football season every year, and March Madness baby. I have to say I for whatever reason have not watched a game of College Basketball this year. This is very rare for me. So today when Jon and Todd asked if I was going to make my picks this year. I wasn't sure, but I did. (We are totally legal, there is no $$$ involved, just the joy of knowing you bet the other two) I just picked my favs from years past, and if that didn't work, I picked of the mascot, or the colors. Now I am totally excited to go home and watch the games.

I hope I do well this year. Last year. I came in 2nd of the 3.

Wish me Luck!!

Bonus Time

I have been reading and hearing about all the AIG bonuses that have been and will be paid out as I am sure those of you who read my blog have been reading also. This makes me so mad. WE the taxpayers not of our own descision but thru the federal government who is supposed to be smarter then us gave this company $165 billion dollars last year. With almost no strings attached. (this was under then President Bush) and now AIG is giving bonuses to their top executives.

I was just reading this article on CNN.com. Not only were these supposed to be "retention bonuses" but 11 of the people who got the bonuses left anyways. Excuse me. If that is the case GIVE THE MONEY BACK!!.

When I worked at the bank we got bonuses and the higher up the better your bonus was, but if we didn't meet our goals, or WEREN"T PROFITABLE we didn't get a bonus. How in anyone's right mind can you sit there and tell the country and the President and Congress that you think it is ok to run your company into the ground and still give out bonuses. I am sorry but running your company into the ground so the government has to BAIL YOU OUT is not a situtaion the deserves a bonus.

I didn't get an allowance growing up, but I did have to do certain chores to be able to get certain things I wanted, or wanted to be able to do. And I can guarntee you that I didn't just have to do the job, I had to do a good job. Trust me I tried to just do the minium and still get the reward, but it NEVER worked. So just because the AIG execs ran the company doesn't mean they should get a reward. And that is what a bonus is. A reward. It's something beyond your salary (which is what you should get for just showing up and doing the job). It is something you get for doing more then just the job. And by the way if they were "just" doing their job the company wouldn't be in the mess it is in now.

I hope Congress does what it says in passing an immediate Tax Law to tax those you took the bonus and won't give it back, so in essense they aren't getting the bonus anyway.

I want my money back.

Dreaming of Vacation

So Buddy and I were talking the other day. Of course this is after he had a sixer of Bud and half a pack of Marlboro Reds, and we decided we need to take a break. I was supposed to go to St. Louis, and since Mo is having her first communion that weekend won't be making it to that. Buddy was a little upset with her for ruining my plans, but I had to explain to him that it wasn't her fault. She didn't get to pick the day. Once I calmed him down, he could see what I was trying to say. So now the question is where do me and Buddy the Booze Hound go to hang out for a long weekend?

Do we go visit Nana Sheri and Grandpa George? That's a long trip to make, and Buddy would have to behave himself, which let's admit everyone he isn't the best at, in that oh so cute and uber mischevious way he has. Plus we were just up there 2 months ago.

So well Buddy is at home, I am sure busting into my UV Cherry Vodak I am sitting here at work dreaming of places I could go for a short Friday to Sunday. I am thinking KC (that's Kansas City for you none Iowa, Nebraska people) but I don't think it would be much fun to do that by myself. I've gone down there for a couple of girls weekends with friends where we went shopping and then out to the clubs at night. And that was a lot of fun. But hence all those fun friends are now married and no longer Fun Friends.

So I guess for right now Buddy and I will keep searching for a place to go. I'll let you know if he comes up with any great ideas.

Buddy the Booze Hound

I got a new computer and it has this really cool feature where I can put my memory card right in the computer (this is a laptop, so it's not something I have ever seen before on a laptop), so I want to try it out. And a month ago my mom love her too pieces did a post about A girl and her dogWell since Buddy is a booze hound I thought I would put some pictures out there proving it.

Here he is drinking a beer.He's to drunk to drive so he gets a lift from a friend!!


And here he is passed out after drinking too much!!

There he is lady's and gentlemen (not sure there are any of you that actually read my blog) My dog Buddy!!

He's wondering when I am going to take him drinking again. He can be a bit of a mean drunk so I'm not sure. But I guess Carrin got him hooked so now I will have to feed his habit. Oh well he is cute I can't really turn him down when he gives me those big brown puppy dog eyes.

So Buddy for licking the tears off my face the last couple of days, for making me laugh every morning before I go to work, for being so incredible happy when I get home, and for being the one I sleep with every night.
This Bud's for You!!

Now here is the rest of the Story

As Paul Harvey used to say.

So everything was going great. He was talking on Thursday about when his business is making money, and yada yada, and WE would have a nice house in West "O", and blah blah blah. We were going to have dinner Saturday, and Friday he was still coming over.

Well guess what HE DIDN"T SHOWS!! That's right you read that correctly. HE DIDN'T SHOW!! Not only did he not show, but I sent him a text, called and didn't leave a message, and then called again and left a message. NO RESPONSE!! I sent him a text on Sunday, no response. Monday he didn't work. Today I got there, the owner said Good Morning to me, Toby didn't say a word, and didn't even turn around to look at me.

The owner then walked outside, with the other driver that was up front. So I called him on the inter office phone, and he picked up and said "This is Toby" Really, really you asshole, because I wouldn't have known that other wise. So I very calmly said since you aren't speaking to me I want me shit back. My slow cooker, and my movies back un damaged. (because yes he would probably do something to them. AND THE BASTARD HUNG UP ON ME. Excuse me. Excuse me. You are the only who FUCKED UP!! Not me. I have no idea what climbed up your butt, Because I sure as hell know that I didn't do anything wrong. So what ever you problem is get over it!!

This is not unusual for Toby. He has done this in the past. Although it has been awhile since he has done that.

I gave him a chance. He came back and asked for a chance so I gave it to him. I had to, if I didn't I would always have been wondering if it could have been a good relationship. And now I know. I deserve better than that. I deserve respect, I deserve better.

My friend Carey laughed at me when I told her "I was 50% pissed, and then 2/3 of the other 50% I was relieved, and the other 1/3 of the 50% I was sad. I do want to get drunk. I want to get fall down pissed off drunk!! You know the kind, where you are so drunk, and pissed off, all you do is sit there and F this and F that bastard. So any up for that?

Here is to assholes everywhere

It's DONE!

Toby and I are now and forever over. I don't really want to talk about it right now, I will post about it tonight from home, since I don't want to bawl here at work with people walking past my office all day. But I had to say it to other people to make really truly real. And it is so real it is not even funny. He has blown all the chances he has ever had, and in my opinion he has had too many.

So any one who is the mood to have a good drunk girls night out, is welcome to join me when ever I can get it arranged. As long as every one is clear I will be the one who is getting smashed. Fall down stinky pissed off drunk.